I Want Uwe!

Or, "Keep the Boll Rolling!"

Monsterfest passed along word of a new FEARnet interview with German director/cerebral sadist Uwe Boll posted last week. Like Boll’s films, it’s full of unintentional humor (including a quote in which Boll attempts to position himself as a satirist while in the same breath referencing The Naked Gun).

Most amusing, however, is Boll’s acknowledgement of an online petition requesting that he retire from filmmaking. At the time of the interview it held 18,000 signatures, which Boll deemed inadequate, claiming it would take a million signatures before he’d stop making shitty movies. As of today, not even five days after the interview was posted, more than 120,000 people have signed it. The joke’s on Uwe.

One signature you won’t find on that roster is mine -- not because I disagree with the undersigned’s assertions of Boll’s “complete lack of comprehension” and “ham-fisted approach to horror,” but because those same characteristics make Boll one of the most reliable filmmakers working today. With any other director, there’s a certain degree of quality variance from product to product. Only with Boll can you count on crap, which is why I encourage everyone to think beyond his or her gut reaction and imagine what the world would be like if Claudio Fragasso’s career had been squelched before he’d been able to make Troll II.